Maybe


This week a new board was formed for the AIDS organization I belong to and work for. It may just end the era for AIDS Outreach of moving along slowly, head down, trying to do some good without attracting too much attention from cowboys with gun racks in the Gallatin Valley. I was inspired.

The people who joined the board are excellent people- the cream of the crop. they’re interested in giving back and paying forward. In a time fraught with personal concerns they still find the time and energy to be concerned with others. they took the time to work for something they believe in. Eight people in Bozeman MT, took the TIME.

This was a humbling experience for me. I’ve been involved in “causes” all my life- my default setting is “How can I help?”- but after the meeting on Sunday, I felt a little less like Superman out on his own and more like part of the Justice League. 

That feels good.

I’ve sort of been a one-man-show all my life. Yeah, I’ve worked as part of teams, been involved in group planning and process, but my own childhood baggage and oldest child syndrome often wouldn’t allow the concept of teamwork to really take with me. I’ve found it easier to take responsibility, to take initiative, to take credit and blame and and and and… It just seemed more efficient. I even had a sign on my desk when I was a priest that said “For God so loved the World, that He didn’t send a Committee”. I know, Lone Ranger, Control Freak, Micro-manager- all words that people use about me and that I use about myself.

But maybe a new era is being ushered in. Maybe Greg Smith is becoming less of a control freak and more of a leader. Maybe he’s realizing that other people are just as, or (horror) even more capable than he is. Maybe he’s able to start relaxing and let things flow and go their natural course more often. Maybe the meditation stuff is working and he’s seeing his proper place with much more perspective than before. Maybe he realizes that nothing can go wrong, no matter how hard he tries to affect the outcome. Maybe he’s finally getting real.

Did I say maybe?