It’s My Party

So I’ll be 45 on Sunday- and I’m kinda freaking out.

Not to worry, it’s the good kind.

Frankly, I never expected to live this long. Don’t get me wrong, I’m delighted to be here. I’ve just done so many things to my life that should have ended in complete and utter disaster that I’m finding the event of my 45th birthday a bit surreal. I’ve survived serious illnesses, drug abuse, major depression, bad relationships, treating friends like shit, treating myself like shit, spiritual desolation and disappointments (to myself and others) too numerous to mention. I’ve poisoned my body, mind and heart. I’ve alienated people, let down colleagues and clients professionally and worked very hard to isolate myself out of embarrassment, shame and fear.

It didn’t work.

Today, I have a loving family who support me, a partner who brings me joy daily, friends who humble me with their love and support, work that’s fulfilling, and kids and dogs who love me without question. Despite everything I did to prevent it, my life is fantastic- and I can’t really explain it all. The only thing I know is that life is unstoppable, especially when it’s appreciated. And I’ve worked hard at that.

So I’ll continue to accept it and to live it. Gratefully. Every day. Maybe even for another 45 years….

And for all of you who’ve enriched my life by allowing me to be part of yours, thank you. I couldn’t have imagined it any better.

4 comments on “It’s My Party

  1. Donn says:

    Your honesty has come at a price. It demands more of you. Even so, it also enriches your outlook and frees your conscience to accept our thanks.

    Donn C


  2. George says:

    You’re still jailbait (compared to me), so quit moaning. I sent you an early card from Maine, what else do you want? Mutter, mutter….



  3. Nancy says:

    “Happy, Happy, Birthday, Clark! I almost *missed* it, shame in me! We are lucky to have you!

    Love; N. Mc.


  4. G Burns says:

    Just read this my friend. How poignant, how truthful, how touching. Im glad you are around so you can continue to be part of my life. Peace!


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