Joseph W Laythe, PhD

When I first met Joey Laythe, At Carroll College Freshman orientation in the fall of 1983, I didn’t like him.

He was loud, he was brazen, he was funny and he had more energy than I did.

Competition.

Because I, too, am loud and brazen and funny.

Later, we became pretty good friends. I would say, that we learned- as all friends do- to join forces.

We had some pretty good times at Carroll College. In particular, was the time Joey almost got us arrested. Another was when he threw a paper airplane in Fr People’s class when Sr Mary Sarah Fasenmeyer fell asleep during Fr People’s tenure check. Behind her head. Right at me.

While she was sleeping.

But I digress.

Joey annoyed me. And I’m pretty sure I annoyed him. Because we were a lot alike.

And I think we really only realized it a few years ago.

Through Facebook.

Thanks, Mark Zuckerberg.

Joe supported me through a really weird time in my life, so I figured it was the least I can do to be here, when he asked me in October.

We saw the world in much the same way. We saw the world as a place in need of education, in need of healing- in need of love. In need of kindness and understanding. That is the pinnacle of my faith- and we connected there.

Neither of us would happily put up with willful ignorance. Neither of us could put up with injustice.

Neither of us could stand idly by when people were being injured, manipulated or exploited.

We mutually liked every Facebook post the other made.

These are the human ties that aren’t maybe created through birth, or circumstance, but by common purpose.

We had some of the same mentors at Carroll- some of the most formative years of my life- John Downs, Fr. Gene Peoples, and although I never took a class from him Dr Robert Swartout- a man who inspired generations of historians. And someone who especially inspired Dr Joseph Laythe- to be a teacher, an academic, and a good human being. They all did. That was the magic of Carroll for me. We were surrounded by exceptional human beings with great hearts- who inspired us to be exceptionsal human beings-stretch ourselves beyond the obvious into eternity.

All I ever wanted was to be a priest. All Joe ever wanted was to be a teacher. A funny, irrepressible academic with the heart to change the manner in which his students would perceive the world around them. And the brilliant brain to teach them the facts that motivated his heart. Along the way, he added some additional wants- being a husband to Chris and a father to Lydia and Izzy.

This was his world.

And now, it’s ours.

“We all have a story. If you’re not friends with your mailman, you’re missing something”- John Downs.

“Jesus was the ultimate example of powerless love”- Fr. Gene Peoples.

I hold these things close in my life today. For me, it’s what Christianity boils down to.

Jesus rejected the love of power for the power of love. He spent time with the small people of society- those estranged and downtrodden and misunderstood. He ate with sinners- prostitutes and tax collectors and Pharisees and common people- they were all the same to him. People who needed to be seen as people.

Today, we make people into things. Murderers, terrorists, gays, Buddhists, Muslims, Republicans, Democrats, Hoosiers, Buckeyes, North Dakotans, poor, diseased, addicts, transgender, prostitutes, anything but human.

Jesus makes us see the human.

Joey asked us to please see the human beings beyond the labels. And today, I beg you- please, never forget, we are not things. We are people. It may be the best way to honor our husband, our father, our teacher, our friend.

It’s how I will remember him. Last week at Mass, I came across the following from Bridges of Contemplation- Lent and Holy Week with Thomas Merton, where the author said

“Life and death are identical twin sisters born within every human being. We are all kin as we travel the uneven roads of our common journey through life. Yet being kindred- why are we so unkind toward each other?

Why do we find it so hard to see each other’s dilemmas as being identical to our own? Why do we so often accept unkindness as the order of relations among us? For us to live unkindly to each other is to live unnaturally.

How do we live kindly in an unkind world?

Humility teaches us kindness. Humility prevents our taking the first places at life’s banquet, prevents our excessive consumption of resources while sisters and brothers on other continents or down the street cannot feed their children.

Humility helps us step down from the pedestal of individual destinies to share life with the crowd.

Humility helps us to see how easy it is to lose everything we hold dear in an instant; our house, our status, our families, our very selves lost in the distractions that keep us from realizing our kindness with one another.

Lent is an occasion for us to reorient our priorities, to attend to the least privileged first- to allow the lame lead us in the procession by their slower pace and with rhythms that appreciate how we must all proceed carefully or suffer soul-death alone.”

I will honor my friend by being careful with other humans beings in my life.

I will treat them with respect and dignity and kindness and humor and understanding.

I will treat them with love.

Because, ultimately, that’s what it’s all about.

I used to think that really enlightened people took their pain and changed the world; Nelson Mandela. Gandhi. Mother Teresa. Vaclav Havel. Peter Abelard. Victor Hugo. Joan of Arc. Francis of Assisi. Charles Dickens, Alexander Graham Bell, Oscar Romero, Stephen Bieko. Father Damien of Molokai. Dorothy Day. Raymond Hunthausen.

Like I said, I used to think these people took their pain and changed the world. But now, I’ve changed my mind.

I think these people took their pain and changed themselves.

And that changed the world.

That’s what our Joey did.

That’s what we are to do.

We are here to take our pain- a very ordinary part of our human lives- an unpleasant part of our ordinary lives- and change the world.

We are here to take our pain and change the world.

Into something extraordinary.

That’s building the Kingdom of God.

That’s honoring our husband, our father, our teacher, our friend. Because that’s what he did.

We take our pain, and we change the world- by being kind to one another.

Please be kind.

Above all things.

Even- and especially- when people can’t pay you back.

Or even, when they almost get you arrested- especially then- they might become your dear, dear friend.

Be open to surprises.

That’s life.

Amen.

Today’s Must-Read: Richard Blanco

Jan22 by D Gregory Smith

If you’re haunted sometimes by memories of “gay terror” from your childhood- especially when it involved family- this essay is for you. In reading it, I recognized so much of the familiar and long-past memories of shame and fear that molded me, that sent me- much later- into the world with clearer purpose. I also recognized the stories of clients and friends- and not just gay friends- many of us eventually disappointed or confused the people who raised us….

Excerpt:

At thirty-one, I sit at a candlelit table across from the man who will be my husband. I tell him about my grandmother and the coping mechanisms I developed; how they naturally led me to writing; mechanisms that became part of my very creative process. Becoming withdrawn and introverted, I grew to become an observer of the world, instead of a participant. In order to survive emotionally I learned to read my environment very carefully and then craft appropriate responses that would (hopefully) prevent abuse and ridicule from my grandmother. I explain to my husband-to-be that I am still that quiet, repressed boy whenever I am in a room full of people, trying to be as invisible as possible, but taking in every detail, sensory as well as emotional, that will eventually surface in a poem.

My work is often described as vivid and lush; relatives often marvel at my recollection in my poems of family events and details. Qualities I attribute directly to the skills spawned from my coping with my abuse. But beyond that, I’ve come to understand why writing and me became such a great fit. It allowed me to participate in the world, to feel alive, while remaining an invulnerable observer, safe in my room, at my desk, in my imagination where no one, especially my grandmother, could hurt me.

It’s beautiful and humble and brilliant. Please read the full essay here. And then, in case you missed it, watch Richard Blanco read his lovely poem at the president’s inauguration yesterday.

Richard Blanco named inauguration poet (rep-am.com)
Read Miami poet Richard Blanco’s inauguration poem, One Today (miamiherald.com)
Richard Blanco, Hispanic and Openly Gay, Delivers Inaugural Poem (politic365.com)

Gay Rapper Criticizes Romney in New Pre-Election Music Video

Nov1 by D Gregory Smith

Having made national news earlier this year as one of the country’s first rappers to come out of the closet, Indiana based DeMarquis Oden (stage name: Ripparachie) is once again making waves for the LGBT community following the release of his latest music video. However, this time around, his target is Mitt Romney.

The artist’s latest music video heavily criticizes the Presidential candidate for his lack of regard for human life, particularly within the arena of same-sex issues. It’s the first time a Hip Hop artist has attempted such a campaign, and the results have been astonishing.

Since its release on the 27^th of October the video has amassed over seventy five thousand views, with praise and support flooding in from across the planet.

“Put simply, Romney will ruin the lives of gay people if elected. Our community is very upset that he does not support us and our constitutional right to pursue happiness via same-sex marriage. The world needs to hear our concerns before it is too late – and I am committed to standing up on behalf of every American,” he says.

In fact, as Ripparachie explains, his entire career bucks the trend of traditional rap themes, instead placing focus on positive issues that aim to improve lives and make people happier.

“These days most rappers only rap about sex, drugs and wealth. I prefer to focus on people and on life, with an ultimate goal of putting an end to bullying and discrimination. I was afraid to be my true self for many years – and I don’t want other people to live with the same fear,” he adds.

The lyrics from Ripparachie’s music video say it all, with lines including “I heard you jumped a gay back in the day” and “You hate on the homos want to turn us around, Obama for president not (be)cause he brown”.

The song also takes a dig at Nicki Minaj due to a line she included on a recent mixtape by Lil Wayne.

“I want to prove that the entire LGBT community can speak its mind whenever and however it wants to. Lots of people have a vision to change both the mindsets in the country and the laws. However, with most lacking a platform to shout from, I am standing up for them on their behalf,” Oden concludes.

More information about Ripparachie can be found on his official website: http://www.ripparachie.com/

Nicki Minaj is Endorsing Mitt Romney? [AUDIO] (kysdc.com)
Nicki Minaj Slyly Exploits Mitt Romney on Lil Wayne’s ‘Mercy’ (spin.com)

Inlaws & Outlaws On Public TV!

Oct27 by D Gregory Smith

Delightful news from our friends at The True Stories Project:

WE MADE IT! We set a fundraising goal of raising $50,000 to bring Inlaws & Outlaws to public television – and thanks to over 120 of our supporters, we raised over $50, 246 – enough to launch us onto public television!

As of today, Inlaws & Outlaws is not ony available to 350+ PBS and public television affiliates around the US – but 15 stations have already scheduled the film in the next few weeks!

Thank you to everyone who contributed to make this happen!

We especially want to express our gratitude for the major support we received from our Executive Producer Bob Lemon, the Faygele ben Miriam Fund and four of our favorite outlaws – Jane Abbott Lighty & Pete-e Petersen and Frank Chaffee & John Gliessman. You put us over the top – and on TV.

Changing Hearts + Minds…

We’re still presenting screenings of Inlaws & Outlaws as part of ourHearts + Minds Campaign, including here in Washington where we’re using the film to support Referendum 74, but we’re about to reach a whole heckuva lot more people when the film is presentedFriday during primetime on KCTS 9 (Seattle) and KYVE (Yakima ).

Together, these stations reach over 75% of Washington residents – one of the reasons we were so determined to reach our goal of bringing Inlaws & Outlaws to public TV before Nov. 6th…

Wondering where else the film is being shown on public TV? Colorado, Ohio, Oregon, Illinois, West Virginia, New York… And we’re only just beginning.

Our new video: Just Marriage, from Outlaws to Inlaws…

Premiering Friday night following the film is our new 14-minute video short featuring director Drew Emery updating audiences on many of the stories in Inlaws & Outlaws.

It’s Just Marriage: from Outlaws to Inlaws, a snapshot of how far we’ve come. Check out the Sneak Peek of the video here.

Exciting times, yes? We think so. This is a critical time for marriage equality in the US – and the election will only raise the stakes even more. So we’re determined to bring our stories that much further to reach more hearts and minds, whether it’s with one of our community screenings in a school, church, temple or community center, or whether it’s on public tv. We’d love to have you on board!*

And to all the folks who made this big leap possible, we have nothing but love & gratitude.

*If you want to support our our Hearts + Minds Campaign, we welcome your tax-deductible donations. You can either donate safely online or send us a check. Your support makes all the difference in the world!