Here are some beautiful images of Montana Pride taken by my friend (and copyrighted by) Bobbie Zenker. Used with permission.
Enjoy!
Me and Patricia Nell Warren
MT Pride 2011 Photos
Category Archives: Things I Love
States Of Union: A Project Worth Supporting
Have you ever thought of an idea that would make a good project, but maybe just didn’t have the wherewithal, the resources or the drive to see it through? Or have you ever seen something totally engaging that you knew you could wholeheartedly support?
Recently I’ve come across something that I love, both in idea and in practice, and I would like you to take a look with me….
Alix Smith is a brilliant photographer who has received recognition for her art. But she has recently decided to change things up. More specifically, she has chosen to document non-traditional, same-sex families in traditional, beautiful ways. “I wanted to show people the beauty of all families, that there’s nothing to be afraid of,” she told me.
And she does it beautifully. Not only that, she has a vision.
I asked her to share it with you:
“States of Union is a photographic project that documents gay and lesbian couples and families in the style of the classic masterpieces. As a lesbian I conceived of this project to fill the void I experienced in my own coming out process – I had no paradigms, no role models, no historical examples, and no contemporary exemplars of what my family might look like.
In order to truly do justice to the subject matter and show the diversity represented in our community I am currently raising funds to facilitate travel to photograph families from states that are not traditionally perceived as gay-friendly (e.g, New Mexico, Arizona, Oklahoma, Alabama, Alaska, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Missouri, Michigan, Montana, Nebraska, North Dakota, Ohio, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Georgia, Virginia, Wyoming, and Washington)
The more the world is permeated with images of loving and committed same-sex couples and families, the harder it will be for same-sex relationships to be considered “other.
Your donation will help give these families a voice. Kickstarter is an all-or-nothing site, meaning if I don’t reach my entire goal before the deadline on JUNE 14TH AT 8PM I will not receive any of the funding.
To support this project go to: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/alixsmith/states-of-union-portraits-of-same-sex-families
Please email, blog or tweet this! Each donation level has an accompanying reward No amount is insignificant – even $5 will bring me closer to the kickstarter goal.”
I am so in. Made a pledge, in fact.
I’d like you to consider it, too. If nothing else, to help erase fear and bring a greater awareness of truth and beauty to our country- and to the world.
Two Spirits: Coming To Montana PBS
Two Spirits, a film by Lydia Nibley, is coming to PBS this Sunday, June 12th at 10:30 pm through the program Independent Lens– and I want to encourage you to watch it.
It is an amazing film which “interweaves the tragic story of a mother’s loss of her son with a revealing look at a time when the world wasn’t simply divided into male and female- and many Native American cultures held places of honor for people of integrated genders.”
I’ve talked about this remarkable film before. My friend and collaborator Gregory Hinton gave an excellent introduction to the film when it was screened at the Autry as part of our Out West series last summer. Part of his memorable remarks were these:
The city and the country have a lot to catch up on. We have much to teach each other. To protect our rural kids, and our rural elders, our community must be visible, like a porch light streaming into the western night sky.
And now, to Lydia and Russell, the filmmakers of Two Spirits, thank you for your advocacy by flipping on the switch.
Two Spirits is the story of Fred Martinez, a Navajo boy who was also a girl. It is also the story of Pauline Mitchell, the mother who loved him, who prayed every night for his safe return.
It speaks to the prescience of the Navajo culture. Imagine a time where Two Spirit children were adored, their talents cultivated, their spirits revered.
The World Premiere of Two Spirits was sponsored by the Matthew Shepard Foundation in Denver. I recently told Judy Shepard that in addition to experiencing bias as a gay man, I have also experienced bias as a rural westerner. I asked her if Matt loved Wyoming. Judy told me he stayed in Laramie because it was home and he loved the out of doors.
The love of mothers and courage of sons astonishes.
Stay home if you want. Be who you are. This is the mission of Out West.
Check your local listings here, and watch the trailer below:
Sunday Signs 5/29/11
This one comes from rockin’ reader Sara in response to my previous post and was taken at the Pear Blossom Parade in Medford OR:
It says:” Just another SMALL TOWN church-goin’, Oregon-lovin’ DYKE.”
Anyone else have some cool rural Pride pics? send ’em to me at Dgsma@hotmail.com
Mother’s Day, 2011
After considering this for a while, I have decided that I am going to partake of some shameless self-indulgent sentimentality.
I miss my Mom.
We all went to Lydia’s in Butte last night for dinner in her honor- it was one of her favorite places. Dad, my brother and sister, their spouses and their parents, me and Ken and his mom. We celebrated all the mothers in our families- including the absent ones. And I noticed something last night that I haven’t been able to shake.
I love being around this family.
I loved watching my Dad enjoy his children. I loved watching Ken gently pull the chair out for his mom before she sat. I loved how we all told stories and laughed and listened and ate delicious food- sharing tastes across the table. I loved the subtle teasing, the secret shared smiles, the knowing nods and the conversation that was all over the table. I loved how we drank wine and water and Manhattans and Diet Coke and shamelessly ordered dessert. I loved how we all treated each other like, well, like we loved each other.
Which we do.
And I wanted my Mom there- because she was always such an uncompromisingly real presence at all of our family gatherings. You never had to wonder what she thought, or who she was talking to- or about. She loved nothing more than to sit next to my Dad and tell stories and laugh, remind us of details- or have us remind her, and generally just be with her kids and have a good time. I’m not sure how, but she taught us how to enjoy each other.
I remember watching them watch us last Christmas. They were sitting together on a couch, and we (me, brother, sister and all our respective spouses) were all talking to each other, telling stories and teasing each other a little, laughing and just having a great time. I happened to look up at my parents and I saw my Mom look at my Dad, smile, and put her head on his shoulder. That moment is one of the most precious memories I have. In my mind, I hear that smile and that gesture say “We done good, Dave.”
They sure did.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. We miss you lots.
Marriage
“My Friends Are Gay, Not Broken.”
You may have heard of Exodus International, the “pray the gay away” ministry. They have a controversial iPhone app- and they also get under the skin of my friend Kathy Baldock. From their website:
Exodus International is the world’s largest ministry to individuals and families impacted by homosexuality.
With over 35 years of ministry experience, Exodus is committed to encouraging, educating and equipping the Body of Christ to address the issue of homosexuality with grace and truth.
Besides the awkward phrase “impacted by homosexuality”- Exodus has a lot of explaining to do. And Kathy asks for clarification:
I spent quite a bit of time going through most of the pages on the Exodus International website and they are not straight forward (pun not intended) in the message. I am trying to understand what it is that Exodus does, says and promises. It is not clearly stated, so I wanted to come and observe for myself at yourJune Freedom Conference, but you uninvited me.
I see that Exodus believes that the opposite of homosexuality is holiness. That has bothered me since you wrote that in ”Leaving Homosexuality” on page 23; yes, I read the whole book. I agree that God wants us to be holy as He is holy (I Peter 1:16), but that in no way indicates that holiness is the opposite of homosexuality.
Read her whole post here. I love how she stands up!
Be F*<#!^g Nice To Each Other
One man’s campaign to conquer the frigid Danish psyche is being heralded by the Copenhagen Post:
Danes have a harder time opening up to others, according to Lars AP, who has started a nationwide niceness campaign
Lars Pedersen’s has a message for Danes: be nice
Only in Denmark can you get away with using the F-word in your book’s title and cause absolutely no uproar over it.
But the title of the new book from Lars Andreas Pedersen – who goes by the moniker Lars AP – isn’t meant to offend. ‘F**king Flink’ is aimed at giving Pedersen’s fellow countrymen tips on how to be more open and polite to strangers.
‘Flink’ is the Danish word for ‘nice’, and as the son of an American father and Danish mother, Pedersen thinks he understands what the concept is all about.
‘Year after year Danes are rated as the happiest people in the world,’ he writes in the book. ‘But try standing in the supermarket queue on a Monday afternoon or driving during rush hour traffic. Danes can be some of the least tolerant people around.’
As part of promoting the book and what he calls ‘a movement’, Pedersen dressed up as a traffic warden and issued ‘tickets’ to people who were extra nice.
And Pedersen points out that Danes are generally nice – to each other. A survey in the book indicated that 42 out of 100 Danes said the reason they were not more open to others was out of respect for the person’s private life.
I like it when human beings work for understanding, compassion and civility. We’re all in this together, after all.
Some good advice from Lars on how to accomplish the niceness project:
1) Be atypical – don’t act cool. Be nice with a ‘twist’.
2) Use the ‘cracks’ – finding the right places and situations in which to be nice. Take advantage of social fissures – or try to create them yourselves.
3) Complain nicely – it’s okay to carry on the Danish national sport of complaining – as long as you do it in a ‘f**cking flink’ way.
4) Be an individual. Don’t be afraid to leave yourself vulnerable – expose yourself.
5) Give more – try to give more than people would expect. Take an extra umbrella with you when you go out. Then when it rains you can offer a place of refuge to a stranger.
Meditation Poetic
Boast of Quietness
by Jorge Luis Borges
Writings of light assault the darkness, more prodigious than meteors.
The tall unknowable city takes over the countryside.
Sure of my life and death, I observe the ambitious and would
like to understand them.
Their day is greedy as a lariat in the air.
Their night is a rest from the rage within steel, quick to attack.
They speak of humanity.
My humanity is in feeling we are all voices of that same poverty.
They speak of homeland.
My homeland is the rhythm of a guitar, a few portraits, an old
sword, the willow grove’s visible prayer as evening falls.
Time is living me.
More silent than my shadow, I pass through the loftily covetous multitude.
They are indispensable, singular, worthy of tomorrow.
My name is someone and anyone.
I walk slowly, like one who comes from so far away he doesn’t
expect to arrive.
From Moon Across the Way by Jorge Luis Borge, (c)1925
Illustration: Walking Meditation III by Jenny Waelti-Walters ~used with permission
blessing
To balance the madness of the world of late, I offer you a poem by one of the great spiritual writers and thinkers of our time.
Because we need it.
Beannacht
(“Blessing”)
On the day when
the weight deadens
on your shoulders
and you stumble,
may the clay dance
to balance you.
And when your eyes
freeze behind
the grey window
and the ghost of loss
gets in to you,
may a flock of colours,
indigo, red, green,
and azure blue
come to awaken in you
a meadow of delight.
When the canvas frays
in the currach of thought
and a stain of ocean
blackens beneath you,
may there come across the waters
a path of yellow moonlight
to bring you safely home.
May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
may the clarity of light be yours,
may the fluency of the ocean be yours,
may the protection of the ancestors be yours.
And so may a slow
wind work these words
of love around you,
an invisible cloak
to mind your life.
~ John O’Donohue ~
From Eternity To Here 