THE GREAT TRANS LAMENT (AGAIN)

by Bobbie Zenker

In a landmark moment for lesbians and gays in America, another amongst many over the last few years, “the Supreme Court on Wednesday struck down the 1996 law blocking federal recognition of gay marriage, and it allowed gay marriage to resume in California.” http://nbcpolitics.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/06/26/19151971 As the LGBT world’s collectively held breath exasperates in a crescendo of joy, it is difficult still to catch a glimpse of perspective. It is hard to know, as the euphoria winds down, just what it all means and what I should feel.

I am of course elated for Edith Windsor, and hope she feels the sense of vindication that I feel. I hope also that the IRS is forced to pay her estate taxes back, together with penalty and interest in a like amount to what she would have to pay had the tables been turned. I am tickled pink-er, for gay friends in Butte, America, who announced their engagement only this week. I am ecstatic for the LGBT Equality Movement, and its ever escalating advancement toward full justice and inclusion.

Yet, for me, something is missing. I have this niggling sense that for all the good that is happening around me, and the excitement that it brings me, it is not really meant for me. While I may share the joy, I may not reap the blessing. For it brings to mind yet again the great trans-lament, and just how far we still have to go. Who will accept me enough into the full fabric of society to love me? Who will lie next to me, hold me close and keep me safe? Who will share their life with me? Who will marry me?

It is a struggle that not even the LGBT community collectively can get their head around, let alone the broader world of which I am equally a part. For example, some of the larger world remains blissfully ignorant of even the larger LGBT struggle. In my exuberance this morning I burst in on a co-worker and said, “DOMA is unconstitutional!” In truly Ozzie-esque fashion she replied, “What’s DOMA?” If the larger world is not even aware of the LGBT struggle for marriage equality, how on earth will they understand the trans struggle to even get a date?

It begs the question: What is equality? And just what is its genesis? We can say that we seek to be equal in our application of the laws of the land, and we should. We should scream it from the rooftops. But, what about ideas, philosophies and judgements? Should we not seek an even playing field with these too? Let me put a finer point on this that might sting a little.

I have been playing the field of the on-line dating scene off and on for the last year or so – with absolutely no degree of success. That’s right – not a single date from the on-line sites including Planet Sapho, Cupid, Tagged and Are You Interested. Planet Sapho is more like planet scamo. Cupid and Sapho are related I’m pretty sure. Tagged is for people who take vicarious pleasure through sending e-porn back & forth, and for foreigners who look for love in all the wrong places (like 1000s of miles away where dates are literally impossible). Are You Interested is yet another way for Mark Zuckerberg to suck the ever living advertising dollar out of the world before we all get fed up with Facebook.

The faults and foibles of these sites notwithstanding, my experience has been remarkably repetitive on way too numerous occasions. I have been scammed, slammed, avoided, evaded , judged and condemned – everything but loved. Here’s what happens. Gay guys may think the world of me, but they are gay, okay. Straight guys always call me dear right off the bat – I mean in the very first message. And I know immediately where it is headed. They will profess great and enduring love for me, for my picture, my smile and my wondrous beauty, then evaporate when I reveal my transgender nature. And reveal it I must for the tragic potential of omission. Plus, all I have to do is Google my name to see that there is absolutely no potential to live in stealth.

Then there is the lesbian reaction which is perhaps the most deflating and discouraging of all because, for reasons we shall see, I identify as a lesbian. First, the story. I have loved women all of my life, and I have felt in heart and soul for just as long that I am a woman. Before I ask you to do the math, let me ask you to consider what determines our gender? It is physical or, God forbid, merely our genitals? Or does it include the way we think, feel and believe? Can a manly woman be a man despite the lack of a penis? Can I be a woman despite the lack of reproductive organs? I do not hold the answers to these questions, but this I know; If I was not always a woman I defy anyone to deny me that description now. I have at the very least become a whole woman in body, mind and soul. Yet, when I come out to a would-be suitor, she turns me down flat every time, unless of course, it’s a scam. I do not get it.

I know my way around a woman, really! As a dude, I was all that and a bag of peanuts, or something. I always had dates. I dated many girls in high school and college, even married a couple. Once, with my ex-wife, we counted up the number of people we had made love to. I suppose it was in the interest of full disclosure prompted by the pre-marital blood test. I do not think that I have made love to fifty women, but, I know it was more than thirty. This is not about conquest, and I write this just to say that I do know how to make love to a woman. I know what works, and what does not. I know how to give and take love, to have, hold and help her . . .and the weird thing for me is that I was always a woman even though she thought she was with a man.

Yet, though I live and love as a woman in all respects and am capable of great emotional support and attachment, and sexual pleasure, I am somehow off-limits to lesbians. I cannot figure it out, and that is the trans-lament. I belabor this point to demonstrate an even greater and more fundamental point – discrimination and prejudice lie much closer to the heart than most of us are willing to admit, for to do so would mean that we must cast it aside. I suspect few of us are prepared to do so.

My greatest fear as we secure marriage equality (it appears ever increasingly certain that we will) is that many if not most LGB activists will abandon the movement. They will stop pressing for other rights and greater equality. So, I write this rant. I reveal myself to the possibility of disagreement and perhaps ridicule, not out of self pity but as a plea. Please do not let the pendulum stop swinging.

Pride Foundation Executive Director On SCOTUS Rulings

by D Gregory Smith
 Truly unbelievable—it’s hard to know where to begin, what to feel, how to put into words what this day represents for our community and for our country.
Equality, fairness, and love won. Twice.
Today, Wednesday, June 26, 2013, the Supreme Court of the United States struck down Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) “as a deprivation of the equal liberty of persons that is protected by the Fifth Amendment,” allowing same sex couples legally married in 13 states and the District of Columbia access to federal protection and benefits. The Court also ruled that proponents of Prop 8 did not have “standing” to appeal the federal court ruling that invalidated Prop. 8, reinstating the right of same sex couples to marry in California once again.
As the DOMA and Prop 8 challenges wound through various federal courts, we patiently and anxiously waited for this moment—the recognition that the U.S. Constitution guaranteed equal protection for all, including lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people. We persisted as a community in spite of every obstacle faced along the way.
The legal implications of these rulings are significant and complex. Over the next few days and months to come, experts will translate the details of the decisions so that we can understand what the rulings mean long-term and how each will impact the day-to-day lives of LGBTQ people and our families—both for those same-sex couple who are legally married and for LGBTQ people who live in states that do not currently have relationship recognition laws.
If you’re not already connected to us on Facebook or Twitter, please do and we’ll be sure to keep you posted as we learn more along the way.
As we celebrate the enormity of this historic moment, let’s hold on to and remember what it took to reach this mountain top. We are here thanks to the courage and leadership of pioneers who toiled through the decades and carried us to this moment.
We have gained another victory to guide us as we strive for equality in all aspects of our lives and for all LGBTQ people, here in the Northwest and across the country. Because of our hard work as a community and the help of passionate allies, we are closer to that vision. Today represents a giant leap forward. It will take our ongoing commitment and continuous energy to keep crossing the mountains to full and lasting equality.
Congratulations to all of us—this celebration is for everyone. Thank you for all that you have done and will continue to do to bring full equality home to every person and every family.
With great Pride,
Kris Hermanns
Executive Director
http://www.pridefoundation.org | info@pridefoundation.org | 1.800.735.7287 | Headquarters Mailing Address: 1122 E Pike St PMB 1001 | Seattle, WA 98122 US
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DOMA, Prop 8 DOWN

by D Gregory Smith

The Federal government will now recognize people who are legally married in any state. It’s unclear if they will recognize marriages if the participants move to a state where it is not legall recognized- like Montana. Would it mean that MT couples could go get married in WA and then file federal income taxes together?

 

Prop 8 is struck down- which means that it is legal for a CA clerk of court to give a marriage license to a same-sex couple- maybe a brave one will do that today…

 

The rainbow flag, sometimes called 'the freedo...

The rainbow flag, sometimes called ‘the freedom flag’, has been used as a symbol of gay and lesbian pride since the 1970s. The different colors symbolize diversity in the gay community, and the flag is often used as a symbol of gay pride in gay rights marches. It originated in the United States, but is now used around the world. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

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“Unacceptable Levels” Tonight at The Emerson

by caitlinjcopple

Women’s Voices for the Earth is proud to host the Montana premier of “Unacceptable Levels,” on Wednesday, June 26th at the Emerson Theater in Bozeman. Doors open at 7:00pm; Program begins at 7:30pm. Admission is free.

Evening Details.

This evening screening will host families, educators, small business owners, and community leaders alike in premiering one of the most innovative and exposing documentaries ever made on the role of chemicals in our modern-­‐day lives. Following the film will be a short panel discussion, in which WVE is honored to host the filmmaker, Ed Brown (Los Angeles); WVE Executive Director, Erin Switalski (Missoula); Richard Eidlin, of the American Sustainability Business Council (Denver); and business and individual community representatives from Bozeman.

About the Film.

Unacceptable Levels is an innovative documentary that opens a dialog about the effects of chemicals in everyday products on the environment and on our bodies. The film dissects the lack of regulatory oversight of industrial chemicals in consumer goods — from cosmetics to household cleaning products to industrial farming — and inspires consumers to push for changes that protect us all.

Shot and edited almost entirely by independent filmmaker, Ed Brown, it is the result of three years of arduous travel and research. “I made this movie because I couldn’t ignore the effects of chemicals on my family. I had to find out more,” said Ed Brown. The interplay of facts and personal history is central to the success of Unacceptable Levels as a film and an educational tool, combining the weight of expert interviewees with the universality of family.

Unacceptable Levels comes at a time when growing awareness of chemicals on human and environmental health has met a stronger call for safer products and regulatory legislative efforts. Montana is a leader in this movement, with two of our own senators co-­‐sponsoring the Safe Chemicals Act: a bill reintroduced to the Senate this spring to patch gaping regulatory holes in the only existing chemical legislation, Toxic Substances Control Act (TSCA).

About Women’s Voices for the Earth.

Based in Missoula, Montana, Women’s Voices for the Earth (WVE) is a national organization that works to eliminate toxic chemicals that harm women’s health by changing consumer behaviors, corporate practices and government policies. WVE is proud to call Montana home, where recently we secured co-­‐ sponsorship from our two Senators – Tester and Baucus – for the Safe Chemicals Act that passed it through the Senate Sub-­‐Committee last year, effectively taking the first step to amend toxic substances legislation in over 50 years.

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Turn The Internets Red

by D Gregory Smith

HRC

AND A CHILD SHALL LEAD THEM

by Bobbie Zenker

Today, the Colorado Human Rights Division got the transgender bathroom thing right in the Coy Mathis case. “This is the first ruling in the nation that holds that transgender students be allowed to use bathrooms that match who they are. There are thousands of families like the Mathises who are feeling relieved and vindicated that the commission ruled that Coy is a girl just like any other girl,” said Michael D. Silverman, the executive director of the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund. http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/24/us/agency-says-district-discriminated-against-transgender-student.html

How can I tell you how this feels, how my eyes begin to well with salty tears at the thought of being aloud to grow up in a world that matched who I am? I cannot fully explain, not really, because I was not aloud to be in that world. I have never lived in a world of acceptance and affirmation. And perhaps none of us have. But I suspect that some of us grew up with more rejection and fear than others, and bear deeper scars and wounds for having survived the battles – mostly waged within.

I want to tell you, but I struggle with the words. I am reminded from my own recovery experience to tell you just that – my experience. I always wanted to use the girls bathroom, and not for some prurient interest either. Six year olds do not have prurient interest, do they? I did not. But, I could not tell you about the bathroom. I wanted to wear a dress, but I could not tell you. I wanted to smell the pretty lotions and potions and such, but I could not tell you. So many things I could not tell, that come trickling back to me slowly, like a leaky faucet dripping secrets I had all but forgotten. I was afraid that you would not like me. You would not approve. You would not let me be. You would hurt me. So, I could not tell you about the daily battle inside my head that seemed to never end or go away. So, I hid it and I hid it well.

We are as sick as our secrets, it seems, and I became mightily ill. I hid myself away and swished it all around in booze, perhaps to wash myself away. But in hiding and drinking I could never come clean. And now a brave little girl shall lead us. She is showing us how to tell, to be. I want to wear a dress. I want the pretty things. I stubbornly must be.

Coy Mathis has a family who allows her to be authentic. I have tried to express what it was like for me in an effort to describe what, perhaps, it means for this child to have this chance. I do not know what Coy will be, but, I suspect that she will not grow up enmeshed in fear, uncertainty, doubt, guilt, shame and ambiguity about something as fundamental as self. She has no doubt, no fear. She has a family, and now a tribunal that will support her. Perhaps someday soon, the rest of us shall follow where this child leads.

Student Loans, National Debt & Congress- An Infographic

by D Gregory Smith

 

 

banking-on-education-OPTIMIZED

 

Here are just a couple key points:

— Since 2002, student debt in America has quintupled from $200 billion to $1.1 trillion
— 62% of workers aged 30-39 have insufficient resources for retirement — meaning less money on critical necessities like housing, food, and medicine
— If Congress doesn’t act by July 1st, the average student will owe an extra $2,564 — but if  Congress passes Sen. Warren’s plan, they’ll save $6,552

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Interchange Schedule!

by D Gregory Smith

With a lineup that’s sure to rock, Interchange brings human dignity center stage to Bozeman, Montana. Here’s the fantastic schedule:

Interchange_FB_event

Wednesday, June 26th:

  • Women’s Voices for The Earth Presents “Unacceptable Levels”- Emerson Cultural Center 7:30pm, free

Thursday, June 27th:

  • Interchange Pre-Party 10pm-1am, BAR IX

Friday, June 28th:

  • Interchange Summit 5pm
  • Cocktails and Jazz (Leigh Lounge, MSU) 6:30-8pm
  • Electra Sexton’s Summer Meltdown! (MSU Ballroom) 8-10pm
  • Zebra Afterparty with the B-Side Players- $6 at the door
  • Konfadense at Plonk! -free entry

Saturday, June 29th

  • Interchange Parade (Main Street) 11am-Noon
  • Rally and festival at the Bozeman Public Library 12:15pm
  • “Racism & Human Trafficking” Library Community Room, 1:15pm
  • “Scripture & Science & Sex- Oh, My!”, Library Community Room 2:45pm
  • Interchange Festival- featuring Chiddy Bang and SOL, Lindley Park 5-10pm
  • Official After-Party featuring Ana Sia & Anavox, Zebra $12 at the door
  • Ampathy at Plonk!- free entry

Sunday June 30th

  • Kiki Garden Party- Soroptomist Park (catered by the Nova Cafe!) 9:30-11am

HIV testing will also be available throughout the weekend, provided by AIDS Outreach and Yellowstone AIDS Project. For more info, just click the Interchange logo above…. It’s gonna be awesome!

AM I REAL?

by Bobbie Zenker

While I continue to struggle to get along in the world with my GID (Gender Identification Dysphoria), articles like an opinion piece in the Washington Times today, displaying its JID (Journalism Identification Dysphoria), do not help. On a day when another headline read; “Ex-gay Christian ministry closes, apologizes to LGBT community,” I was also entreated to lines like these:

“Real girls and their parents reacted with the outrage that anyone not blinded by political correctness would have expected.”

“Sixteen states and the District have similar laws, according to something called the Transgender Law & Policy Institute.”

“The rights of the majority — in this case, for real girls not to have real boys use their toilet facilities — are subordinated to a vanishingly small minority, albeit one with political clout way out of proportion to its numbers. School restrooms are just the start, with locker rooms and showers after phys-ed next on an agenda that’s all about breaking down the real and traditional differences between the sexes.” http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/jun/19/transgenders-and-toilets/#.UcM8JqIlSC4.facebook. (Emphasis added by the author).

Clearly, the Times does not know weather to wax sensationally or rationally. Or, perhaps this is the whole problem with the political right – they just don’t know how to talk about people with whom they take issue without relying on insulting, inflammatory rhetoric like that above. I apologize ahead of time if the right is able to prove me wrong on this. In any event, a professional journalist should be held to a higher standard, even in their opinions, although I must forgive “THE WASHINGTON TIMES” (Only By line) its professional lapses, given its apparent internal confusion about journalistic integrity and its own identity.

So, what is a “Real girl” Mr. Washington Times? (Oh, did I just make an assumption that a man wrote this article? You bet!) Is a “Real Girl” defined only physically, by her appearance, by her genitals? Or is it the heart, mind and soul that make a girl real? Is it a combination of the physical, spiritual, emotional and intellectual? Perhaps. I know what my biases are, but, for the sake of Pete, does the Washington Times really want to limit gender to a static, stereotypical definition? Do I have to be barefoot, pregnant and subservient to a husband in order to be a “real” woman? The Washington Times might as well print their publication on papyrus in cuneiform. (Really ancient, as in pre-dating the dark ages).

Now, of course, the existence of “real” women suggests the existence of “real” men too. And what do they look like? I won’t even hazard a guess. But, I will bet it is “traditional.” Well, at least the Washington Times definition of traditional “real” men and women that it can trace for about the last century and to its Puritan, Anglo-Saxon cultural roots only. In truth, the differences between genders anthropologically speaking is much more fluid. (See, http://genderoutlaw.wordpress.com/2008/05/10/transgender-warriors-by-leslie-feinberg/)

Now, the Washington Times prints that trans people have some kind of “political clout.” Never mind that trans people are routinely excluded from health insurance policies for health related circumstances, and that they the are often the most highly discriminated against class of people. (See, http://www.hrc.org/files/assets/resources/hrcTGguide.pdf). Heck, even local ordinances designed to provide anti-discrimination protections often have transgender exceptions – especially when it comes to bathrooms. So, what political gain does this imagined “clout” provide to a trans person?

And what about me – a post-op trans women? If I can not fit the Washington Times definition of a “real” woman or a “real” man, am I real at all. The IRS thinks so. So does the DMV, the local Election Administrator, the DFWP, my bank, my church, my work, my friends, and even all two of my enemies. Heck, I even have a credit score. Yes, I’m real, and I wish the Washington Times would get there too.