Cinderella- Again.

In gratitude for life, love and surprises, I’m re-running this.

It’s all still true.

Cinderella I Ain’t
Originally published March 15, 2009

We were at the Black and White Ball last night in Missoula to benefit the Western Montana LGBT Community Center. It all started out fine. My clothes fit, I looked pretty good, Ken was handsome, a great circle of friends- dinner with people I love very much, and a ballroom full of people who supported me and my relationship as much as I supported theirs (or their desire to have some such). The atmosphere was nurturing, mostly. There were a few people obviously avoiding other people, but it wasn’t ugly or drama-filled or really at all awkward.

I was enjoying myself and my partner and my friends and the party immensely, and then something happened.

It crossed my mind later that the old cliche’ “there I was minding my own business, when suddenly…” seems to apply here. I really was. Minding my own business, I mean. I was talking to Hobie about something sort of innocuous but interesting, when Ken grabbed my hand and said to Hobie, “Could you excuse us for a minute?”

I was confused. Ken doesn’t really do that. Interrupt, I mean. And he hasn’t ever just grabbed me and pulled me aside for any reason that I can remember. I thought, “Oh shit, I’ve had a few drinks and maybe said something that I shouldn’t have and this is his way of telling me to keep my big mouth shut. That’s sweet- and a little embarrassing. I wonder what I said?” He was pulling me toward the front of the ballroom- toward the band, which was playing “A Rainy Night in Georgia” and the less crowded area of the dance floor. I figured I should ask him what was up. “Is there something wrong?” I said into his ear. He just grabbed my hand tighter and took me out onto the dance floor. “Nope,”he said. “I love this song and just wanted to dance with you.”

I was stunned.

Ken doesn’t dance. Or so he says. I’ve tried to get him to dance with me, but he’s always refused saying he feels he looks like a big, awkward bird and has no rhythm, is accident prone and etc. I always say it doesn’t matter, I don’t care what you look like or how you dance and still, he’s not been up for it. And so, we haven’t danced.

I didn’t push it, because there are certain things I don’t like to do- long distance running for instance, that Ken enjoys. I figured if I let some of mythings go I wouldn’t be pressured to go jogging or spend six hours in a shoe store. It’s that compromise place you reach when you love someone so much you realize that part of what you love is their difference– there’s no need to be exactly alike or enjoy the same things. Otherwise, why bother having a partner at all? I want someone who shows me the view from their life, through eyes and experiences not my own. And this he does. Sometimes with a grace that takes my breath away. Sometimes it’s more akin to blunt force trauma. Mostly it’s somewhere in between. But tonight-

He pulled me close and kissed me lightly and we gracefully moved to the music. In a room filled with people that didn’t see us as freaks or perverts or abominations of nature, we simply danced. A very normal thing for people in love to do in a public place where there’s music….

It was wonderful. Stunning. Perhaps one of the best moments of my life. I felt safe and at ease and excited and, well, just right. I still do.

And as the music ended, and I felt all warm and happy, full of love and grateful for the surprise of this man, I found myself thinking, ever so briefly, “I’m going to return the favor someday.”

I don’t think it’ll be running, though.

We’re Going To Be Daddies!

Dec12 by D Gregory Smith

Meet Phyllis.

She’s a Chihuahua/Corgi cross (officially, they’re called Chigis, but I’m going with Corhuahua). She was abandoned, and our boys Clint and Scott took her in until they could find her a good home.

All they had to do was show Ken her picture at the Y.A.P. dinner last weekend…. (I said “No” at first, but I kinda knew it was a done deal) and a few days later we were in.

Isn’t that the cutest face you’ve ever seen?

This will be my first puppy since Albert, so it’s kind of a big deal for me, but the thought of some company in my big house makes me feel really good. I’m ready- and I’m sure Bandit will love her.

She’s coming from Billings on Thursday and we’re very excited- stay tuned!

“Be Your Best Self”

Dec5 by D Gregory Smith

Greg squared

The Yellowstone AIDS Project fundraiser last night was great. The auction items were cool; the people were great; Greg Louganis recounted his path from 3 year-old dancer to Olympic champion to humanitarian and coach. Loved being part of it all to help raise money for a very worthy cause.

This was my favorite quote of the evening:

“Never underestimate your ability to make someone else’s life better- even if you never know it. Just be your best self- it can change the world.”

I’ve gotten to know this guy a bit, and I am happy to say, he’s the real deal. His heart is large, his desire to make the world better is real, and his kindness and generosity made me (humbly) glad to be able to spend some time with him- and share the experience of my friend with the people here in Montana.

They got to know a man who worked hard to achieve his goals with such determination and drive that made me wonder if he was human. That wonder was quelled by the warmth and kindness he showed to me and my friends- and the humor, dedication and insight he shared during his presentation. His openness about being HIV-positive and gay and, (gasp), Californian, were inspiring. The casual comfort with which he presented himself and his life reminded me to not take myself too seriously- even though I’m not at all in his league.

Maybe that’s what everyone else who shared that night was thinking- and I guess that just proves my point.

Thanks, Greg- mission accomplished.

Oh, and thanks for eating my tuna sandwiches….

Death Be Not Proud

Nov28 by D Gregory Smith

As a prelude to my talk on December 1st, (World AIDS Day) at AIDSPirit in Billings, I offer this:

Holy Sonnet X
Death, be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for thou are not so;
For those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow
Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,
Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee do go,
Rest of their bones, and soul's delivery.
Thou'art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell,
And poppy'or charms can make us sleep as well
And better than thy stroke; why swell'st thou then?
One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.
~John Donne

For an explanation and integration, please join us at Grace United Methodist Church, Billings, at 7pm.

SameSexSunday

Nov22 by D Gregory Smith

LGBT COMMUNITY EMBRACES NEW WEEKLY POLITICS PANEL

“SAMESEXSUNDAY” REACHES 5000 iTUNES SUBSCRIBERS AFTER 25 SHOWS

“This is just the beginning,” promise hosts and producers

Washington DC, November 21, 2010- In a growing climate of concern about the future of lesbian, gay, bisexual & transgender (LGBT) community media, SameSexSunday is an engaging, smart and insightful public affairs round table now attracting 5000 iTunes subscriber hits a month. Modeled after the Sunday morning politics talk shows, SameSexSunday, offers a diverse, lively and topical discussion of the week’s event in the LGBT on a wide array of political, cultural and community topics.

Partnering with Bilerico Project, the web’s largest queer political group blog, Phil Reese and Joe Mirabella launched the show in Spring of 2010 to an audience eager for serious political discussion, covering strategy, politics, policy, legislation and litigation with some of the brightest minds and provocative personalities in the LGBT and ally community. By July, iTunes had already selected SameSexSunday as one of its “New and Noteworthy” podcast picks.

“Same Sex Sunday is one of the most thoughtful and relevant broadcast spaces on the Internet for discussion of LGBT issues,” says LGBT movement leader and media strategist, Cathy Renna. “Simply put, it is our community’s version of “Meet the Press” Renna is a Managing Partner of the LGBT focused communications firm Renna Communications and longtime media activist and a guest on the new round table regularly, joining dozens of leaders, movers and shakers from the LGBT equality movement.

In its first 25 episodes, the panel has attracted the a wide array of political strategists and leaders from inside and outside of the LGBT equality movement; from Diego Sanchez, Steve Ralls, Rea Carey, Karl Frisch, Michael Crawford, Rick Jacobs and Chris Barron to Michael J Wilson, Jarrod Chlapowski, JD Smith, Meghan Stabler, Casey Pick and R. Clarke Cooper. Even California Senator Roy Ashburn joined the discussion this summer.

Regular SameSexSunday law expert and journalist, Chris Geidner, describes the show as “a great opportunity to hear the people who are reporting on and working toward LGBT equality every day talking about topics that matter to LGBT people. There is no other place to hear so many informed people talking about so many LGBT issues each weekend.”

“We want listeners to get an inside look at the latest news and issues facing the LGBT community, and what’s on the horizon for the LGBT movement,” says show co-host, Phil Reese, who records from Champaign, IL with panelists from the across the country. “We offer dynamic panels that take seriously both the right and left side of the political spectrum.”

Hundreds of listeners every week are discovering the most insightful LGBT public affairs show and clicking “subscribe.” Since June of 2010, the show has been downloaded nearly 20,000 times. With 1500 Facebook fans, it’s no wonder SameSexSunday is growing so fast.

Bil Browning, founder and Editor-In-Chief of Bilerico Project, is very proud of SameSexSunday’s success. “While the conversation can get heated as panelists debate today’s hottest LGBT issues, the quality of the program is consistently excellent. You can get a good idea of what’s coming up in LGBT politics and issues by listening to the show. SameSexSunday’s expert guests are the same people deciding the focus of advocacy and reporting for the queer community.” Leaders know SameSexSunday doesn’t just keep pace with the LGBT news cycle, but sets it. “This isn’t your typical shout-fest of talking heads. This is intelligent conversation for the modern queer.”

SameSexSudnay was launched in 2010 as the web’s only weekly LGBT public affairs and politics round table discussion. LGBT leaders, strategists and movement icons from around America gather every Sunday to discuss litigation, litigation, policy and strategy.

Another Mom Speaks

Nov20 by D Gregory Smith

From Momastery, a really beautiful letter from the mother we all wish we had, to her son.

Excerpt:

And I don’t mean, Chase, that we would be tolerant of you and your sexuality. If our goal is to be tolerant of people who are different than we are, Chase, than we really are aiming quite low. Traffic jams are to be tolerated. People are to be celebrated.

Read the rest here.

A Boy And His Dog

Nov19 by D Gregory Smith

Some people might need an insulin shot after this- but not me.

For all of the dog lovers out there…

http://m.youtube.com/index?desktop_uri=%2F&gl=US#/watch?xl=xl_blazer&v=rvTQzXlzojQ

It Lives!

Nov19 by D Gregory Smith

This is a bit belated, (Ok, VERY), but I wanted to congratulate and offer my support to my buddy Rob Kailey who is seeing to it that Left In The West continues to make a difference.

LITW has been an excellent clearinghouse for progressive Westerners and it continues to be. If you don’t know how it works, check it out. Anyone can have a diary there, and the forums are really easy to navigate and use.

Our voices are important- now more than ever.

Teenage Dream

Nov7 by D Gregory Smith

Great.
Besides being the song that I can’t get out of my head for hours when I hear it, it’s going to be even harder now:

And I sacrificed my “No Glee Until I Can See Them All In Order” rule to do this. Why the rule? I don’t like to miss anything (I always go to the bathroom before a movie and couldn’t imagine leaving a show in progress- unless Liza was outside asking for me). Also, I had group when it premiered (and no DVR) so I’ll do what I always do- live vicariously through The Ken- who lets me know that I’m still missing something worth seeing without giving anything away, and then I’ll watch them all on DVD.

I know. But it works for me….