Building Courage

I came out approximately 5 years ago.

English: Rainbow flag flapping in the wind wit...

 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

At the time, I was terrified. I assumed that I would never speak to my family again, lose my friends, move far away and start a new life.

Now, that just seems silly. I told one of my sisters first, and word got around either by me or through the grapevine. The majority of my friends stayed true to me. Those that did not,  quietly removed themselves from my life. Although, to be fair, I didn’t exactly give some people the chance to tell me what they really felt, and for that I feel regret. I should have given them the chance to give me a chance. 

I was selfish, scared, immature and irresponsible to a degree. I didn’t know what to do with myself once I had finally conquered my biggest fear. Life became beautiful, wonderful and… chaotic at best. Eventually, I straightened it out, grew up and moved on. I have amazing family, awesome friends, and great jobs. Something struck me today at a new job I recently took.

I was talking to a coworker I hardly know. I just met her, we are both new, and I have no idea what her beliefs or political standings are. I related my relationship to hers, talked with other LGBT employees about the drag shows, etc. I openly mentioned my partner in my interview, and as the last few weeks of training have progressed there has been no hesitation in relating my life and experiences to others. And I wasn’t even thinking twice about it. Even when I taked to a sweet little lady about the election of a new Pope, I never assumed she was anti-LGBT inclusion. I just saw that she was sweet, polite and happy about the selection that had been made. It made me smile.

There used to be such fear and discomfort. Always worried about how someone might react to my orientation, my life, my partner… But now, I just don’t even think about it.

And no one reacts innapropriately. THAT, my friends, is so beautiful. And I owe it to all of you that have supported me, given me opportunities and chances, friendship and love. I hope and pray that every young person, regardless of what struggle they have, will find those people in life so that they may reach full potential.

I smile so much these days. I laugh, dance, sing, and love. Not like before, when it was gaurded, insecure and sometimes forced. Now it is genuine, bright and glowing like a Montana summer day.

We all make a difference in the lives around us. Let’s make sure it’s a positive difference.

One Of The Best Kept Secrets In The LGBT Community

Secret

Secret (Photo credit: val.pearl)

 

Want to know what it is?

Click here.

Playing “Chicken” In Billings

Jessica Mayrer wrote an article in today’s Missoula Independent about last week’s chicken stand-off in Billings. Money quote:‎

We have got to ratchet back emotion,” Laszloffy says.

Montana Human Rights Network gay rights activist Jamee Greer agrees that violence is never appropriate. However, he finds it ironic that Laszloffy, a man who has consistently branded gays as perverts, sinners and criminals, now wants to tone down the rhetoric. “He’s made his living off of demonizing, scapegoating and harassing LGBT community members,” Greer says. (emphasis mine)

Laszloffy has repeatedly ratcheted up the rhetoric at strategic points along his career- including making veiled threats to one Jamee Greer. See a few of them here.

Now he wants to ratchet back emotion? After stoking the fires of emotion against fellow citizens for years? Now he’s nervous?

Asshat.

Oh, and if anybody knows the identity of the ‘local caterer’ that provided the hate nuggets- I’d love to know, too. And probably so would a lot of people. I’m surprised it wasn’t pursued in the article.

That kind of masked stuff is so 1870’s….

Participate! Study about LGB persons In the Workplace

Received today:

My name is Paul Battle, I am a doctoral student at Oakland University working on my dissertation.   I am currently compiling research on the work experiences of lesbian, gay and bisexual individuals.  I hope that learning more about the work experiences of lesbian, gay and bisexual individuals will help improve work experiences and counseling education.

Participants should be over the age of 18 and currently be employed.  To participate in the study please click on this link: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/Workplaceidentity

Free Money! Pride Foundation Deadline July 31

Pride Foundation, The Northwest’s largest LGBT community foundation is accepting Letters of Inquiry for its 2012 Grant Cycle. Pride Foundation is proud to support LGBTQ equality in Montana. Building on our first Montana grant awarded in the 1990s supporting a LGBTQ youth conference, we have been growing support for Montana organizations and scholars thanks to donors and volunteers with more than $300,000 awarded to date. For Every $1.00 given in Montana, $3.80 comes back to the state- allowing Pride Foundation to make major investments in Montana Equality.

The simple online Letter of Inquiry application is available here. If you are a previous applicant, please log in using your email address and password. If you are a new applicant, please select “Create New Account” on the registration page. Only successful Letter of Inquiry applicants will be invited to submit a full application. However, all applicants will receive notification.

Please review our grant guidelines before applying.

2012 Application Process

Letter of Inquiry

  • Letter of Inquiry available: June 1, 2012
  • Letter of Inquiry deadline: July 31, 2012
  • Letter of Inquiry applicant notification: August 27, 2012

Full Application (By Invitation)

  • Full Application invitation notification: August 27, 2012
  • Full Application deadline: September 21, 2012
  • Full Application notification: November 30, 2012

(Funds will be disbursed in December 2012)

All of Pride Foundation’s granting decisions are made by teams of local volunteers knowledgeable in their community’s needs.

Questions?

If you need more information regarding this process, contact your area’s Regional Development Organizer.
In Montana, that’s Caitlin Copple. She can be reached at 406.546.7017, by email: Caitlin@pridefoundation.org
For general grant assistance or questions, please email our Director of Grants Programming or call 206.323.3318 or toll free at 800.735.7287.

Sign up for Pride Foundation’s monthly eNewsletter to receive notification of future grant and scholarship deadlines, and other Pride Foundation news.

Janus, Chaz, Hillary, The Military, Barack, Science And HIV

Français : Demi-statère de Rome, tête de Janus...

Image via Wikipedia

(Also Published on LGBTQNation)
Janus was the Roman God of Thresholds, of transition, of beginnings and ending. He is often depicted with two faces, one for looking forward and one for looking back. January, the beginning month of the new year is named for Janus, and so, it’s natural that humans take this time to look back- and look forward- at the approach of the New Year.

As I take a look back, I’m very grateful for some amazing things that have happened this year in the U.S.- things that I never thought would happen in my lifetime- including:

All good stuff.

But what I am finding amazing is the conspicuous absence or light mentions in the LGBT media about the dramatic advances in HIV treatment and prevention in the “best of” roundups this year. A year when there have arguably been more advances in treatment, prevention and scientific breakthroughs than in any other year in the 30 since AIDS was discovered. A year when top government officials committed time, money and policy to ending this disease. A year when Science magazine called the HPTN 052 Study the scientific breakthrough of the year.

It’s puzzling.

Are we getting complacent about HIV? Are we in denial about the very real danger it still poses to our community? Do people understand that having HIV is difficult- creating financial, medical, emotional and social problems that can be devastating for people, families and communities?

It seems so.

I am, like I said, grateful for all the things listed above. I am grateful for Chaz and trans representation. I am grateful for relationship rcognition. I am grateful for advances in employment nondiscrimination. I am grateful that my government is taking LGBT rights seriously. I am especially grateful that the elected administration of this land is treating HIV like it should be treated- as a disease, a viral infection- and not as some Divine Punishment inflicted on the sexually and socially repugnant dregs of society. That is a big deal.

In fact it’s huge.

So why did we miss it?

Why Everyone Should Be Talking About HIV

Todd Heywood has an excellent post about our reluctance to talk about HIV. A must-read.

Money quote:

…the reality is, as an HIV-positive man, I need HIV-negatives talking about the illness. As a gay men’s community which is overwhelmingly affected by the virus, we need negatives talking about the infection. Why? Because it effects and affects all of us in various ways and to various degrees. And when the problem is so large in scope, it takes everyone to be involved.

And Elizabeth Lombino wonders “Is it 1990 again? HIV/AIDS Myths are Alive and … Scary

These are examples of statements and myths that were made back during the early years of the AIDS epidemic.  The statements are also reflective of the derogatory language used during that time. No one would say these statements or use this language now, right? Wrong. Myths like these continue to spread quicker than HIV itself. This is a very scary scenario.

Talk about HIV with someone today- even if it’s only to pass this along….