Watch This: High School Senior Comes Out

Accepting the award for best actor in his Parsippany, NJ high school, Jacob Rudolph bravely talked about “the daily acting” that he was about to swear off:

Love it. I think he should get ‘the most inspiring’ award….

Today’s Must-Read: Richard Blanco

If you’re haunted sometimes by memories of “gay terror” from your childhood- especially when it involved family- this essay is for you. In reading it, I recognized so much of the familiar and long-past memories of shame and fear that molded me, that sent me- much later- into the world with clearer purpose. I also recognized the stories of clients and friends- and not just gay friends- many of us eventually disappointed or confused the people who raised us….

Excerpt:

At thirty-one, I sit at a candlelit table across from the man who will be my husband. I tell him about my grandmother and the coping mechanisms I developed; how they naturally led me to writing; mechanisms that became part of my very creative process. Becoming withdrawn and introverted, I grew to become an observer of the world, instead of a participant. In order to survive emotionally I learned to read my environment very carefully and then craft appropriate responses that would (hopefully) prevent abuse and ridicule from my grandmother. I explain to my husband-to-be that I am still that quiet, repressed boy whenever I am in a room full of people, trying to be as invisible as possible, but taking in every detail, sensory as well as emotional, that will eventually surface in a poem.

My work is often described as vivid and lush; relatives often marvel at my recollection in my poems of family events and details. Qualities I attribute directly to the skills spawned from my coping with my abuse. But beyond that, I’ve come to understand why writing and me became such a great fit. It allowed me to participate in the world, to feel alive, while remaining an invulnerable observer, safe in my room, at my desk, in my imagination where no one, especially my grandmother, could hurt me.

It’s beautiful and humble and brilliant. Please read the full essay here. And then, in case you missed it, watch Richard Blanco read his lovely poem at the president’s inauguration yesterday.

One Of The Best Kept Secrets In The LGBT Community

Secret

Secret (Photo credit: val.pearl)

 

Want to know what it is?

Click here.

Look of love

IMG_1002Greg is at a wedding today – in Seattle! Congrats to the happy couple, John Carroll and Jason Ohlberg. Many blessings and much love to you both!

Identification of LGBT Needs in the Exam Room

A physician performs a routine checkup on a pa...

A physician performs a routine checkup on a patient at the medical clinic. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Last time you were in an exam room, did you feel that the attending physician received all the information needed to gain an accurate perspective of your plight? Did you share everything you felt you should, no matter how personal? Did said physician even ask about anything, aside from the usual short list of inquiries we are all too familiar with in that particular setting?

If you are a physician, do you really get the answers you need from your patients? Or perhaps it is just too uncomfortable when talking about sexual health and behaviors. More likely, they do not disclose the details out of discomfort, or even fear.

LGBT persons have shown to have some unique healthcare needs, sometimes experiencing disparities in care. LGBT patients are often uncomfortable or inhibited from talking openly with healthcare providers about sexual orientation, gender identity, and sexual behaviors. Certain sexual behaviors do not automatically define that patient as LGBT, and not all LGBT patients are going to have similar sexual behaviors. Truthfully, it’s not about whether a person is a member of the LGBT community or not. It’s about the individuals choices and behaviors that could be putting their health at risk, as well as the health of others. In order to cover everyone’s needs, patients must speak openly with providers. Providers must delve into the patients behaviors and understand where the risk behavior is at for each patient. I am going to lay out a few examples, ideas, and suggestions for physicians, as well as patients.

In any healthcare position, you will find people from diverse backgrounds and lifestyles. Different interests, tastes, and mindset. The right approach will reassure patients that the provider is knowledgeable, genuine, concerned, confidential and accepting. This enables the patient to open up and discuss the very private matters of sexual behavior, often in this society a ‘taboo’ subject.

Ask the patient to tell a bit about themselves. As the patient, make sure you indulge your sexual partner(s), safe sex practices, and concerns. Some behaviors have an amount of risk attached to them that is often unknown to the patient.  A physician might ask “Do you have any questions or concerns about your sexuality, sexual orientation or sexual desires?”. Use gender-neutral terms and mirror the patient’s terminology to better understand how they identify. For example, asking “do you have a partner or spouse?” “Are you currently in a relationship?” “What do you call your partner?” are all good ways to decide how the patient will identify without offending them with clinical terms which may sound cold and ‘labeled’. From here the in-depth sexual questions begin: “Are you sexually active?” “When you have sex, do you have sex with men, women or both?” “Are you and your partner monogamous?” “How many sexual partners have you had in the past year?” “Do you have vaginal sex, anal sex, or both?”. These and many more are the key to finding out just what unique needs your particular patient might have.

It is important to differentiate between sexual identity and sexual behavior. Providers need to discuss sexual behavior with patients regardless of sexual identity in order to define risk-assessment, ascertaining what activities they engage in and to learn what they are doing to prevent the transmission of disease.

And for the majority of readers, as  patients we have a personal responsibility to find the courage to openly discuss in confidence all of our behaviors and desires with our doctors, nurses, therapists and counselors, etc. This is extremely important. We cannot rely on someone to read our thoughts and know the truth.

Stand up and be proud of yourself. I can almost guarantee that the person treating you has heard it all. And if they haven’t, they will soon enough.

Why You Shouldn’t Donate to the Salvation Army Bell Ringers

Reprinted from Bilerico.com

By Bil Browning

As the holidays approach, the Salvation Army bell ringers are out in front of stores dunning shoppers for donations. If you care about gay rights, you’ll skip their bucket in favor of a charity that doesn’t actively discriminate against the LGBT community.

The Salvation Army has a history of active discrimination against gays and lesbians. While you might think you’re helping the hungry and homeless by Thumbnail image for Why you shouldn't give to the Salvation Armydropping a few dollars in the bright red buckets, not everyone can share in the donations. Many LGBT people are rejected by the evangelical church charity because they’re “sexually impure.”

The church claims it holds “a positive view of human sexuality,” but then clarifies that “sexual intimacy is understood as a gift of God to be enjoyed within the context of heterosexual marriage.” The Salvation Army doesn’t believe that gays and lesbians should ever know the intimacy of any loving relationship, instead teaching that “Christians whose sexual orientation is primarily or exclusively same-sex are called upon to embrace celibacy as a way of life.”

On its webpage, the group claims that “the services of The Salvation Army are available to all who qualify, without regard to sexual orientation.” While the words are nice, their actions speak volumes. They blatantly ignore the position statement and deny LGBT people services unless they renounce their sexuality, end same-sex relationships, or, in some cases, attend services “open to all who confess Christ as Savior and who accept and abide by The Salvation Army’s doctrine and discipline.” In other words, if you’re gay or lesbian, you don’t qualify.

The organization also has a record of actively lobbying governments worldwide for anti-gay policies – including an attempt to make consensual gay sex illegal. (Yes, you’re paying lobbyists with those donations.)

After the break are some highlights from the evangelical Christian charity’s recent anti-gay political lobbying, a handy video with more information, and a list of charities who don’t discriminate against their clients and employees.

Click here to read the rest at Bilerico.com

Bisexual Men and Women Less Likely Than Gay Men, Lesbians to Disclose Sexual Orientation

English: Illustration of the double moon symbo...

English: Illustration of the double moon symbol used by bisexuals who wish to avoid the use of triangles. This example is in the colours of the Bisexual Pride flag. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

New research shows that bisexual men and women are less likely than gay men and lesbians to disclose their sexual orientation to healthcare providers.  The study, which examined nondisclosure of sexual orientation among lesbians, gay men and bisexual men and women, found that concealment of sexual orientation from healthcare providers was related to poor psychological wellbeing.

“This study adds to a growing literature that shows that a one-size-fits-all approach to understanding the health of sexual minorities ignores differences among subpopulations within this community,” said Laura Durso Ph.D., Williams Institute Public Policy Fellow.

Nondisclosure was higher among bisexual men of whom 39% did not disclose to any medical provider and bisexual women of whom 33% did not disclose to any medical provider.  Disclosure was much more prevalent among gay men and lesbians among whom only 13% and 10%, respectively, did not disclose their sexual orientation to any medical provider.  Among lesbians, greater nondisclosure was found among racial/ethnic minorities, women with lower educational level, and women with children. Among both gay and bisexual men, greater nondisclosure was found among younger men and men who were born outside the U.S.

The study, entitled “Patterns and Predictors of Disclosure of Sexual Orientation to Healthcare Providers among Lesbians, Gay Men, and Bisexuals,” was funded by the National Institute of Mental Health and is published in Sexuality Research and Social Policy.

Full study: click here.

Pew: Marriage Equality Approval Rises Across U.S.

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Tonight: “Love Free Or Die”

Tonight on many PBS stations airs “Love Free Or Die”, the story of ‘the first openly gay bishop in Christendom’, Gene Robinson:

 

 

Tonight on Independent Lens. Montana PBS airs it at 9pm.

New Equality Organization For Catholic Students Launched

Good news! From GLAAD, Thursday, October 11, 2012

LGBT and allied students at Catholics universities are using National Coming Out Day to launch a new association calling on the church to expand its acceptance of LGBT equality. The Catholic Association of Students for Equality (CASE) is made up of LGBT student groups from eleven Catholic-affiliated colleges.

Each LGBT student organization mailed a letter highlighting the benefits of LGBT and Catholic collaboration to their own Bishops, Diocese, and school administrators. The letters referenced how the Church’s stance on LGBT issues has been harmful, using passages from scripture and the Church’s catechisms.  However, it focused on how the groups that make up CASE have been able to work with Catholic institutions to better their campus communities. CASE’s goal is to raise awareness about these instances of cooperation and acceptance.

“Before some of us were tall enough to even see over the pews, let alone understand our orientations, we were being raised with Catholic values. We were taught to believe in family, love, and commitment. To work to ensure respect, inclusion, and human dignity,” wrote Thomas Lloyd, Georgetown student and founder of CASE. “Therefore, it is only natural that as we grew into adults we would apply these values to how we viewed our LGBTQ identities.”

So far, participating schools include: DePaul University, Chicago; Georgetown University, Washington, DC; Fordham University, New York City; Santa Clara University, Santa Clara, California; College of the Holy Cross, Worcester, Massachusetts; University of San Francisco;Loyola University, ChicagoLoyola University,  New OrleansLoyola University,  Maryland;Boston College; and Loyola Marymount University Los Angeles. CASE is actively reaching out to LGBT students at other Catholic schools to grow the list of participating schools.

“These students are right in step with the strong Catholic support for LGBT equality that we see nationwide, “ said Ross Murray, GLAAD’s Director of Religion, Faith & Values. “At a time when the Roman Catholic hierarchy has only negative messages, these students remind us that the true Catholic values are about dignity and solidarity.”

More information can be found at CASE’s Facebook page. CASE and many of the participating networks will also be going purple for Spirit Day on October 19, to stand with LGBT youth and oppose bullying. Over time the group will post more photos, stories, and videos, to show how LGBTQ groups on Catholic campuses are helping their administrations and students better fulfill their catholic mission.