The Gay Imam

I get a lot of emails from friends who know that I love to read all sorts of things, but don’t have a lot of time to search for it myself. One of my friends looks at websites from The Netherlands and sends me items. From Radio Netherlands Worldwide came a little gem entitled “Gay Imam Says Homosexuality Not Sinful“.

“Huh? Really?”

I’ve spent a fair amount of time in Christian circles, where being gay is feared, celebrated, derided and, in some cases, simply no big deal. I’m used to it. Christian tradition seems built for such a struggle. But Islam?

I was eager to learn more. It seems South African Imam Muhsin Hendricks is a gay man who runs a foundation called The Inner Circle which helps Muslims struggling with their sexuality and their religion. He has openly proclaimed “It is okay to be Muslim and gay!”  From the article:

It’s a message not everyone agrees with and the reason why Mr Hendricks is no longer officially a cleric.
Muhsin Hendricks looks a little tired. He is in the Netherlands at the invitation of the Amsterdam branch of gay rights organisation COC and he’s on a punishing schedule. There is enormous public interest in the “pink imam”, as he’s been dubbed.
But every trace of fatigue vanishes as Mushin Hendricks talks about his faith and his sexuality.
“Being Muslim and being gay are both strong identities. And I think that they are both innate identities for me. So somewhere along the line I had to reconcile the two.”
This was far from easy for Muhsin Hendricks. He was born into an orthodox Muslim family in South Africa. His grandfather was a cleric in one of Cape Town’s most prominent mosques. Mushin discovered at an early age that he was different. He played with dolls rather than cars. He was seen as being feminine and was teased as a result. All this was long before he even knew there was such a thing as homosexuality.
Mushin Hendricks took comfort in his faith, in spite of the fact that many Muslims believe it offers no place to homosexual feelings. Sexual love between two men or two women is prohibited. It is seen as one of the worst possible sins, punishable in some Islamic countries by death.

It’s a story familiar to anyone with conflicts around faith and identity. It’s also an opportunity to learn more about the experience of our Muslim brothers and sisters- and maybe another reason to celebrate the shared humanity of the struggle for dignity and integrity.

Read the full story here.

Addendum:
Reader Michael writes:

Thought you might like to add an addendum to your article to inform readers that the gay Iman is featured in the documentary about gays and Islam called “A Jihad for Love” co-produced by Sandi Dubowski who made the doc about gay Jews I trust you’re familiar with: “Trembling Before G-d.” Those interested should be able to rent the DVD from any decent rental outlet. Website: http://www.ajihadforlove.com/home.html

While often fascinating–particularly the part revealing the Islamic countries that are liberal enough to tolerate gays and lesbians fleeing from other Islamic countries–and a kind of quasi-underground railroad to relocate them in Western countries–overall I found it as depressing as “Trembling” but without providing the Hope through Heart experienced through the personality of Dubowski who’s not in the later film. But it’s certainly informative.

Focus On The Family Targets LGBT Youth

The Day of Dialogue for hate group Focus on the Family just released their Facebook page last week. From Canyonwalker Connections:

“Day of Dialogue” from Focus on the Family is not What Jesus Would Do. This is a call to action for Christian youth to target GLBT youth with a “God has a better plan for you” message. I’m all for a God loves you conversation, but not a conversation that directly targets the most vulnerable of the vulnerable in our society–the GLBT youth.

…and Kathy’s not amused.
Read her excellent take (backed up with scripture quotes!) here.

Illegal No More?

Balancing the week, indeed. The Montana State Senate voted to strike the obsolete law criminalizing the gay.

The Montana Supreme Court struck down the law in 1997, and Senate Bill 276 carried by Sen. Tom Facey would remove it from state code. The Missoula Democrat said the measure would provide equal protection under the law for all Montanans.

The Senate endorsed the bill 41-9 with 19 of 28 Senate Republicans supporting the measure. It has one more usually procedural vote before it goes to the House.

Republican backing for the measure goes against years of support for outlawing homosexual acts, which became part of the official party platform after the 1997 Supreme Court decision.

We’ll see if House Republicans want to make a point out of this one…

“Shocking Ignorance Characterizes some Lawmakers’ Views On Gays”

So says Edge Chicago. Excerpt:

In a healthy democracy, room for debate is part and parcel of public discourse. Such debate might include strong language, rhetorical flourish, and even the personal views of its participants, such as religious faith or an individual’s sense of aesthetics. But debate is only useful to the extent that it is relevant and informed.

When it comes to gays and lesbians, however, America’s lawmakers routinely demonstrate a profound and even shocking lack of factual knowledge. In some cases, the anti-gay claims put forward by the people in charge of formulating the nation’s laws rely on stereotype and myth; in others, the opinions of lawmakers seem to have been formed according to shallow conceptions of the people whose lives are impacted by discriminatory laws.

And yes, Montana’s Janna Taylor is discussed (and so is From Eternity To Here).

Give it a read– it’s important to know the stupid misinformation out there- so we can correct it.

When Was The Last Time A Christian’s House Was Burned Down?

I know. Provocative question.

But I can’t help asking it when I see stories of deliberate arson evicting LGBT’s from the safety of their homes. I also ask the question (appropriately modified) when I see ant-queer graffiti, read about harassment and beatings involving people who are too much like me to make me feel beyond it.

This house, owned by a gay couple in Clayton, North Carolina was destroyed early Friday morning. The story is here.

There was a history of anti-gay messages, graffiti, harassment and vandalism before the blaze. The couple is not identified for “fear of their safety”. The neighbor who talked to the reporter also did so only anonymously. We are afraid.

And the Christianists call us a threat- among other nasty things.

So for the purposes of argument I will ask the following questions to those who believe equality only applies to white, heterosexual, cis-gendered, procreating, (&etc) Christians:

  • When was the last time a group of LGBTIQ persons beat up a straight person?
  • When did Graffiti with the word “Breeders” adorn the house of a straight family?
  • When did a gay terrorist group burn down a Christian house just because they were Christian?
  • When did an LGBT Pastor make the news for slandering and approving of violence against straights?
  • Etc, etc.

But the reverse? Happens all the time. And we take it. Mostly, we do.

Fucked, ain’t it?

And I can’t help but feeling if we don’t get our act together and start acting like a community instead of picking little fights all over the place, squabbling over minutiae that, in the final analysis makes little difference (check the comments section of any LGBT blog), it’s going to continue to get worse.

I am not advocating that we become terrorists, or engage in any similar behavior, only that we be radically truthful. Self-defensive, if you will.

I know. Go ahead. That’s what the comments section is for.

McCarthyism In It’s Latest Manifestation: A Christian Minority Persecution Of Gay People

Guest Post
I am so angry. I am angry because I am tired of the relentless attacks by alleged Christians, who profess to belief and follow the precepts of their collective idealogical/theological standards as spelled out in the tenets of their “holy” book. They do not.
What I see, is yet another form of McCarthyism cloaked in pseudo religious form, being used to demonize, victimise, and ostracise the gay men, women, transgendered,bisexual, persons, who, according to their narrow interpretative beliefs and practise of Christianity are inherently evil.
Today, again, were two absolutely stunning examples displaying nothing but naked hatred for LGBTQ human beings. First from the Southern Poverty Law Centre’s listed hate group Family Research Council’s Peter Spriggs, an editorial in this morning’s Baltimore Sun newspaper railing against marriage equality in Maryland. This was followed by this afternoon’s vote by the Iowa House of Representatives on a proposed Iowan constitutional amendment to not only just ban same-sex marriage, but also nullify marriages that have already taken place in that state since equality rights were granted.
Here is an except from the editorial by FRC’s Spriggs:

“Opposite-sex relationships are the only type capable of producing children through natural intercourse and the only ones assured of providing children with both a mother and a father. Affirming only opposite-sex relationships as ‘marriage’ thus makes perfect sense. But affirming same-sex relationships as ‘marriages’ makes no sense. These relationships are incapable of producing children through their sexual union.

And while some homosexual couples do raise children (most of whom were conceived in previous heterosexual relationships), such arrangements by definition deprive a child of his or her birthright to be raised by both a biological mother and father. Maryland may choose to tolerate and even protect such unconventional childrearing by allowing adoption by homosexual partners or couples. But it has no obligation to actively affirm and celebrate (through ‘marriage’) the deliberate creation of permanently motherless or fatherless families.”

This bigot’s equating a civil marriage license to bearing children is fallacious. The divorce rate in the US is 54%. Every divorce in a marriage with children deprives a child of a full-time mother and father. The out-of-wedlock birthrate in the US is 40%. If Mr. Spriggs is so concerned about the children, why is he not working to make divorce more difficult, and removing children from single-parent households? The truth is, the divorce of 54% of American marriages does much more harm than the <3% of the population who are gay (and probably less than half of those want to get married and half of those that marry would want kids–so that’s less than 1% of the population.)
Marriage is about the uniting of two lives together. The state has no requirement and no expectations that a married couple will have children. A childless marriage is as valid in the eyes of the state as a marriage with 12 children. Couples who can’t have, or don’t want children don’t view their marriages as ‘fake’. People get married because they meet someone they want to spend the rest of their lives with. A person who divorces his/her spouse because the spouse is infertile would be seen as an arse.
Many people who grew up in abusive homes would attest that the simple fact of having a ‘natural’ mother and father present does not guarantee that a child will be loved and nurtured.

These are the same arguments that have been trotted out by the proponents of Proposition 8. It fails to account for centuries of family law that accord rights and responsibilities to siblings, grandparents, adopted parents, and many many many other people who have nothing to do with the actual procreation of the child, and, yes, even to same-sex parents of children. And if marriage were purely for procreation, why would childless couples allowed to married, or at least why a marriage certificate isn’t merely a “learner’s permit”, and no rights or responsibilities conferred until a child is produced?And also failing is to show how any mechanism barring same sex couples from marrying achieves this goal.

Is he really proposing that if homosexual couples were allowed to marry, that it heterosexuals would somehow fail to produce children? It’s akin to say that by allowing interracial couples to marry, that that would somehow hurt white couples? There is no mechanism which would cause either, and both are just grounded in irrational discrimination.

“The Constitution is meant to protect the freedoms and liberties of all Iowans,” she said after the bill passed. “It is inappropriate to use the political process to single out and deny a group of Iowans of their constitutional protections.” ~ Carolyn Jenison, Executive Director of the LGBT-rights group One Iowa.

Let’s leave the Maryland situation and Sprigg’s bull-feces for a moment and look at Iowa where a constitutional ban on gay marriage, civil unions and domestic partnerships passed the Iowa House this afternoon in a 62-37 vote. Three democrats joined 59 Republicans in support of the measure. Thirty-seven Democrats voted “no,” and one Republican was absent.
The Iowa Independent reports:

After discussing his belief that marriage is about “responsible procreation,” state Rep. Rich Anderson (R-Clarinda) asked what could come next if the 2009 Iowa Supreme Court decision that legalized same-sex marriage is allowed to stand. He concluded that it would lead to legalized polygamy and incest.

I could also cite the example of Dean Cannon, the speaker of the Florida House of Representatives, who wants to return the ban on adoption by Gay & Lesbian couples.
Cannon discussed his views in an interview with the Florida Baptist Witness news outlet, where he said that the Republican-controlled legislature would be prepared to attempt to resurrect the adoption ban depending on how the issue plays out in more court districts or the administration of Governor Rick Scott.

“Until we know how the governor and DCF secretary are going to apply it, it’s not a foregone conclusion that the Legislature should step in,” said Cannon. “If we think we should, we’re certainly prepared and willing to do so.”

Plus, add in the battles in New Hampshire, New York, Rhode Island, California and apparently also the District of Columbia as now a GOP lawmaker on the House committee that oversees matters pertaining to Washington wants to revisit the city’s same-sex marriage law.
Then there is the bullying in schools all over the United States specifically aimed at kids who are either Gay or “perceived” to be Gay.
What we have now is McCarthyism in its latest manifestation and without a doubt, even more ugly. This is state sanctioned persecutions of human beings based on beliefs that ought to be held separate from governmental operations and practise but aren’t due to the overwhelming need by a very small minority that are in a state of absolute lust  to be set in power over the majority.

McCarthyism n. The practice of publicizing accusations of political disloyalty or subversion with insufficient regard to evidence.

In this case, the political being augmented by alleged theological disloyalty because after-all, homosexuality is a sin right?
What part of the U. S. IS NOT a Christian nation do these morons not get? I was speaking to a friend and whose principle work is as an LGBTQ activist in Utah. Brave fellow that eh? Utah is ground zero and he said and I believe him, until we find a practical way to counter the Mormons and their money, looking at the National Organization for Marriage as an example, and find a unified voice, then this form of McCarthyism will continue to roll over all of the equality rights of the LGBTQ people, not just the marriage ones either.

Harvey Milk once said that Gay people need to come out. Why? Simply because this is how the perceptions of evil and sick and any other twisted definition the Reich-wing comes up with targeting gays, lesbians, bis, trans, persons can be stripped away and exposed for the outright bigotry and lies they are. When people can relate to one another as human beings and not some form of vague ideological vitriol, then the humanity shines not the bigotry.

We need to target Mom, Pop, Apple pie, and Chevrolet driving folk because they are the ones we need to accept us, as ourselves…fellow human beings.
But, until the LGBTQ community gets its act together, gets its message across to those who really need to hear it and not the Christianazis like Spriggs, or those GOP extremists, or NOM, then we all will continue to lose and this nasty McCarthyism will continue to reign unchecked.

The Holidays: Stress, Secrets and Statistics

“There’s always so much stress for me at this time of year – and everyone’s pushing drinks.”

This is a statement from a gay male therapy client who is also in recovery from drug and alcohol addiction. He continued, “I don’t feel particularly strong right now, and it would be easy to just say ‘screw it’ and grab a drink off the tray.”  

He didn’t grab that first drink, mostly because of his strong commitment to his recovery program and the personal support he’d cultivated around staying sober. But his situation is a good reminder of something we may not pay enough attention to.

In general, the holidays are much more stressful than any other time of year. LGBT persons have their own particular set of stressors, and remembering some helpful tips can help make the holiday season easier.

But there’s one thing that we would do well to remember and be aware of:

LGBT persons are much more likely to abuse alcohol and drugs than the general population.

Stay with me here.

Maybe it’s the stress of being different that makes us want to self-medicate to feel better. Could it be a way to drive away the suspicion of judgment we fear from those closest to us? Maybe it’s the constant struggle to secure rights, respect and dignity that make it so easy to reach for something to relax. Maybe it’s the higher amount of depression we have as a community. Maybe it’s the culture of bars that seem(ed) to be our only support- and the dogged pursuit of the LGBT dollar by alcohol and tobacco companies. Maybe it’s the simple feeling of comfort and relaxation that became a driving need. Maybe it’s the stress of keeping secrets.

Maybe it’s all of the above.

Whatever the reason, the reality is this:

LGBT persons are 3-5 times more likely to abuse substances, less likely to abstain and more likely to continue heavy use later in life than the general population (NALGAP, 2002).

To be clear: this is not a consequence of sexual/personal identity, but of society’s response or reaction to it, often leaving us reaching for something to help cope with the confusion and pain. And because many of us cope in this way, often in the company of our peers – perspective is often a hard thing to come by.

And because, for many of us, carrying the dual secrets/shames of being a sexual minority and having a problem with substance abuse/addiction is so difficult and even scary, we find it hard to talk about – much less deal with.

To help facilitate some perspective and discussion, allow me to offer the following distinction between abuse and addiction:

Substance Abuse: Using a substance in an abusive manner, esp. in ways that may be (temporarily) harmful, impairing, or disabling. Not all people who abuse substances are addicts.

Substance Addiction: Compulsive use of a substance characterized by four elements:

  1. Loss of control- (non-rational compulsion) The user has no ability to deny the compulsion
  2. Continued use despite adverse consequences- the addict uses even though they know it causes problems
  3. Cravings- intense psychological preoccupation with getting and using the substance
  4. Denial- distortion of perception, unable to see the risks and consequences of use

Because a person doesn’t have to use drugs or drink alcohol every day to have a problem, it’s often difficult to recognize the signs of drug and alcohol addiction. This checklist of common alcohol and drug abuse symptoms can help you identify the signs of addiction, determine if yourself, a friend or loved one is having a problem with addiction, and if additional help is needed.

Please remember that even if a person shows any of the following signs and symptoms, it does not necessarily mean that they have a drug or alcohol addiction. The presence of some of these symptoms could relate to stress, depression or other problems that may or may not be related to substance abuse.

General signs and symptoms of addiction/consistent abuse:

  • Observable signs of deteriorating personal hygiene
  • Multiple physical symptoms and complaints
  • Accidents
  • Personality and behavioral changes
  • Many drug prescriptions for self and family
  • Frequent emotional crises
  • Behavior excused by family and friends
  • Activities involving drinking alcohol are a priority
  • Arguments/violent outbursts
  • Sexual problems
  • Extramarital affairs
  • Withdrawal from and fragmentation of family
  • Neglect of children
  • Abnormal, illegal, anti-social actions of children
  • Separation or divorce
  • Unexplained absences from home

Medical and Physical Signs:

  • Observable decline in physical health
  • Signs of weight change
  • Pupils either dilated or constricted; face flushed/bloated
  • Emergency-room treatments such as drug or alcohol overdose, unexplained injuries, symptoms of migraine headaches, auto accidents
  • Claims of having been “mugged” but without witnesses
  • Inability to focus and track in a conversation
  • Signs of shakiness, tremors of hands
  • Slurred speech
  • Unsteady gait
  • Constant runny nose
  • Nausea, vomiting, diarrhea

Observed by Friends and Community

  • Noticeable signs of becoming personally isolated
  • Embarrassing behavior
  • Driving while under the influence of alcohol or a drug
  • Legal problems
  • Neglect of social commitments
  • Unpredictable behavior such as inappropriate spending

Workplace Signs

  • Signs of workaholic behavior
  • Disorganized schedule
  • Decreased workload or workload intolerance
  • Signs of poor work performance
  • Alcohol on breath with attempts to cover with mints or mouthwash
  • Frequent unexplained absences or prolonged breaks
  • Tardiness or leaving work early
  • Withdrawal from professional committees or organizations
  • Defensive if questioned or confronted
  • Poor judgment
  • Observed occurrences of drug or alcohol intoxication, drowsiness or hypersensitivity during work hours
  • Deadlines barely met or missed altogether
  • Frequent job changes or relocation
  • Avoiding supervisor or other co-workers

The good news: There is a lot of help for LGBT people who want it. Recovery programs, addiction centers, therapists, hospitals, churches and even workplaces can be sources of help and support. Online groups are even available for those who have difficulty talking face to face about their fears and possible problems.

But remember, the best way to have perspective is to be aware.

Be aware of your own habits and behaviors around substances. Be aware of the habits of your friends and social groups. Do we need to gather with alcohol in order to have fun? Do we insist others have a drink? Do we make it difficult for them to refuse? Are we sensitive to (or even aware of) those in recovery?

Be aware that you, your friends and (chosen) family may be more susceptible to addiction than you thought.

And, maybe, with that increased awareness, we can make the holidays – and our community – a whole lot healthier.

SameSexSunday

LGBT COMMUNITY EMBRACES NEW WEEKLY POLITICS PANEL

“SAMESEXSUNDAY” REACHES 5000 iTUNES SUBSCRIBERS AFTER 25 SHOWS

“This is just the beginning,” promise hosts and producers

Washington DC, November 21, 2010- In a growing climate of concern about the future of lesbian, gay, bisexual & transgender (LGBT) community media, SameSexSunday is an engaging, smart and insightful public affairs round table now attracting 5000 iTunes subscriber hits a month.  Modeled after the Sunday morning politics talk shows, SameSexSunday, offers a diverse, lively and topical discussion of the week’s event in the LGBT on a wide array of political, cultural and community topics.  

Partnering with Bilerico Project, the web’s largest queer political group blog, Phil Reese and Joe Mirabella launched the show in Spring of 2010 to an audience eager for serious political discussion, covering strategy, politics, policy, legislation and litigation with some of the brightest minds and provocative personalities in the LGBT and ally community.  By July, iTunes had already selected SameSexSunday as one of its “New and Noteworthy” podcast picks.

“Same Sex Sunday is one of the most thoughtful and relevant broadcast spaces on the Internet for discussion of LGBT issues,” says LGBT movement leader and media strategist, Cathy Renna. “Simply put, it is our community’s version of “Meet the Press” Renna is a Managing Partner of the LGBT focused communications firm Renna Communications and longtime media activist and a guest on the new round table regularly, joining dozens of leaders, movers and shakers from the LGBT equality movement.

In its first 25 episodes, the panel has attracted the a wide array of  political strategists and leaders from inside and outside of the LGBT equality movement; from Diego Sanchez, Steve Ralls, Rea Carey, Karl Frisch, Michael Crawford, Rick Jacobs and Chris Barron to Michael J Wilson, Jarrod Chlapowski, JD Smith, Meghan Stabler, Casey Pick and R. Clarke Cooper.  Even California Senator Roy Ashburn joined the discussion this summer.

Regular SameSexSunday law expert and journalist, Chris Geidner, describes the show as “a great opportunity to hear the people who are reporting on and working toward LGBT equality every day talking about topics that matter to LGBT people. There is no other place to hear so many informed people talking about so many LGBT issues each weekend.”

“We want listeners to get an inside look at the latest news and issues facing the LGBT community, and what’s on the horizon for the LGBT movement,” says show co-host, Phil Reese, who records from Champaign, IL with panelists from the across the country. “We offer dynamic panels that take seriously both the right and left side of the political spectrum.”

Hundreds of listeners every week are discovering the most insightful LGBT public affairs show and clicking “subscribe.”  Since June of 2010, the show has been downloaded nearly 20,000 times.  With 1500 Facebook fans, it’s no wonder SameSexSunday is growing so fast.

Bil Browning, founder and Editor-In-Chief of Bilerico Project, is very proud of SameSexSunday’s success. “While the conversation can get heated as panelists debate today’s hottest LGBT issues, the quality of the program is consistently excellent. You can get a good idea of what’s coming up in LGBT politics and issues by listening to the show. SameSexSunday’s expert guests are the same people deciding the focus of advocacy and reporting for the queer community.” Leaders know SameSexSunday doesn’t just keep pace with the LGBT news cycle, but sets it. “This isn’t your typical shout-fest of talking heads. This is intelligent conversation for the modern queer.”

SameSexSudnay was launched in 2010 as the web’s only weekly LGBT public affairs and politics round table discussion.  LGBT leaders, strategists and movement icons from around America gather every Sunday to discuss litigation, litigation, policy and strategy.

A Renaissance of Outrage

In light of the recent “Conservative Revival” in our political/social/religious environment, I celebrated by watching the movie Outrage. An amazingly interesting movie about the shame that rules the gays in politics- and in Washington D.C. The amount of personal shame and fear that being gay arouses among politicians is tragic and fascinating at the same time. I recommend it as a cathartic way of dealing with the current reality.

What makes a self-loathing homosexual/bisexual etc. person work so hard to persecute their fellows? Fear. Fear of losing power, status, dignity and self-worth. All of which are illusory anyway, since, for those still in the closet, they’re based on a lie. And lies aren’t good for anybody in the long run. Truth is a universally held value, especially if you’re a believing Christian. Ironic that the people who most vehemently espouse the teachings of the man who said “The truth will set you free” shrink just as vehemently from it….

Ironic and sad. Which is why I have no problem with outing people who actively persecute us- they’re secret cannibals. And I will be watching several people in politics whom I know are conservative and gay- and not out. Watching carefully. And holding them accountable. I think we have to. This is the time for all fair-minded people to pay attention and not let anyone get away with lies. We can’t afford to.

On of the more interesting comments in Outrage was that “Washington would grind to a halt without it’s gay people”. Interesting idea.

Strike anyone?

Three Stories You Should Know About- And One You Already Knew

Jamee Greer over at 4 and 20 Blackbirds reports on 3 stories you need to know:

  1. This weekend in Serbia, a gay pride celebration was disrupted by almost 6000 rioters throwing molotov cocktails, stun grenades and bricks – and chanting slogans like “death to homosexuals!”
  2. New York State gubernatorial candidate, Carl Paladino, told a gathering of Orthodox Jewish leaders in Williamsburg, Brooklyn on Sunday that children are being “brainwashed” into believing homosexuality was acceptable and normal.
  3. Another gay teen has taken their life, this time in Norman, Oklahoma. The 19 year old had attended a City Council public hearing earlier in the week which included discussion on the receipt of a mayoral proclamation recognizing October as Lesbian, Gay, Bi and Transgender History Month in Norman. The proclamation was approved 7-1, after three hours of graphic, homophobic testimony.
  4. And, just to keep sayin‘, The Montana Republican Party Platform is still crying for the criminalization of gays.

The barbarians are at the gates….